Man Attempts to Flatten Penny. Is Himself Flattened.

The irony here is not that the man was trying to impress his family by putting a penny on the tracks to be flattened by an oncoming train, and it's not really the fact that he didn't make it off the tracks in time and was hit and killed in front of his family. Noooo, the irony is that he was a retired police officer.

Well, maybe that's not too ironic. The cops I've known, and I've had two in my family - my Grampa and Great Uncle - think it's perfectly ok for them to do things that other people should not or are not allowed to do. Since they enforce the law, they are exempt from it I guess, or at least, they are convinced of their own intelligence or superiority, as enforcers of the law, that it doesn't apply to them. My grampa regularly drove WHILE drinking...with me and my sister and cousins in the car. We thought it was fun at the time. What did we know?

So this ex-cop, not only does he decide to impress his family with his little stunt, he does it at a train station, where the tracks are below the station platform. He had to jump down into that pit the train travels through. So down he goes, but can't quite make the jump back out. His family tries to help him, but there's a train coming at 75 mph and they don't make it. Neither does he.

Imagine the horror of seeing your dad and husband smashed by a train. Some lesson dad.

The full story here

Phoenix Humanities Teacher Suspended For Cheer Routine

I'm not sure how to take this really. On the one hand I have to say that my kids need a teacher who's going to teach the class, not use it as their own ego trip and not fill it with useless crap. It's bad enough that the English teacher is also the cheer coach, but did we really need to take time out to see her "new" cheer? Especially since it's just a ripoff of that "Hey Mickey" video from the 80's.

On the other hand, it wasn't all that long of a break from class and it wasn't inappropriate in any way. Nothing racy I mean. I think the school just got cold feet since the video hit Youtube.

The funny thing is that this school is about pretty close to us here in Phoenix. 3rd time in a week that the area has been in some sort of news.



Read more here

"My God, It's Full of Tards"

An Ethiopian man was arrested for making a joke about Al Qaida and bombs in the airport in Boston. The article doesn't say, but I'm assuming it's O'Hare.

What's amazing here is not the stupidity of this mental midget, it's the stupidity of the people commenting on the article. Without fail, each comment criticized the airport for over-reacting and violating this man's First Amendment rights.

C'mon people. Grow a couple neurons.

Most of the comments here are a scary reflection of the same stupidity that led this moron to joke about bombs at the airport.

First of all, the man's got no First Amendment rights. He's not even an American Citizen. He's an Ethiopian national.

You're telling me that you didn't know you couldn't joke about bombs at the airport? Your telling me that you think the First Amendment covers anything and everything your retarded ass wants to say? Before you show how stupid you are, I suggest you know what you're talking about first. This is the same retarded blindness that allowed a member of Al Qaida to say that he "didn't need to learn how to takeoff or land a plane", only how to fly it - and have that ignored by our vaunted FBI.

This is the same stupid argument I hear all the time. The First Amendment is not a cover-all umbrella for anything you want to say. You can't yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater. Such behavior can cause a panic and result in bodily injury. You can't say something anything you want about someone if it's not true. It's called "Slander". You can't write anything you like, it's called "Libel". All are punishable by law.

To quote Rage Against the Machine:

"WAKE UP!!!"

The full story from UPI

Talk About "Rich Desserts"

A resort in Sri Lanka is offering a dessert that costs $14,500. It consists of a little chocolate sculpture depicting a stilt fisherman, a local tradition involving surf fishing from a stilt, some sugary fruit stuff, something called Champagne Sabayon Enlighten, and, oh yeah, an 80 carat aquamarine stone.

This is either a clever way to sell a gimmicky, over-priced dessert to people with no brains but a lot of money, or a clever way of selling an aquamarine stone by pairing it with haute cuisine.

Either way, it's pretty sad considering the dish costs more than most Sri Lankans make in a year.

The full story from Yahoo

The Best and the Brightest

Continuing our coverage, a man was arrested for hitting his wife in the back of the head with an onion...which was the style at the time...



Yes, he was arrested. Which means, not only did he actually throw an onion at his wife, his wife called the cops over it... and she pressed charges and had him arrested. And the cops actually arrested him.

Taxpayer money well spent I say! Assault with a deadly vegetable! Forget about that suspicious family that's had 400 police calls to their trailer in the last 3 years and who are holding a woman hostage for the purposes of rape and torture! HE HIT HER WITH AN ONION!!!

The full story from Yahoo and AP

Oh by the way, thanks for taking the time to report this AP. Never mind the important stuff like the time my ex wife hit me with a potato!

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

An MIT student was arrested at Logan, yes LOGAN INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, for wearing a fake bomb. She claimed it was art.

C'mon... I mean really... You mean to tell me that you've never heard that you shouldn't say the word "bomb" at the airport?! Oh, you have? ANd you thought that it would be ok to actually WEAR a bomb, fake or not, to the airport... That it would be cute and junk. Huh? Oh, you're proud of your art and you wanted to display it... Your lucky your brains weren't "displayed" all over the terminal wall!

Seriously, this is an MIT student! They're supposed to be the best and the brightest! So there are two conclusions to draw: Either she was looking for the publicity, which she obviously got, or she is the prime example of how stupid this country has become.

Our resident retard/genius:



The full story at Yahoo via AP

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

Sure, I get crappy food at McD's and I can maybe complain and get my food replaced, or spit on, but if I'm a cop, I can arrest the minimum wage goober for it?!

Oversalted burger leads to charges

UNION CITY, Ga. - A McDonald's employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer's burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

The full Story


Airline tells woman her outfit won't fly

SAN DIEGO - A 23-year-old woman who boarded a Southwest Airlines plane in a short skirt for a flight to Arizona says she was led off the plane for wearing an outfit that was considered too skimpy.

Kyla Ebbert said a Southwest employee asked her to leave her seat while the plane was preparing to leave San Diego's Lindbergh Field on July 3.

Ebbert, a student who was headed to Tucson for a doctor's appointment, said Friday on NBC's "Today" show that the employee told her she would have to catch a later flight.

"You're dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You're too provocative to fly on this plane," she quoted the employee as saying.

The full story

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

World of Warcraft, too, is an online game as popular as Second Life, with warrior-players amassing digital gold coins from every opponent they vanquish, and the greater the lucre, the higher they advance in the WOW ranks. Some players take the easy route, though, and buy their WOW gold coins from dealers, who mostly get them from "Chinese gold farmers" in Nanjing and other cities men and women hired to play the game 80 hours a week, not for advancement but to score coins that they can sell to other players, at the equivalent of about $1.25 per 100 coins (marked up to $20 per 100, retail), according to a June New York Times Magazine article. [New York Times Magazine, 6-17-07]


Yeeaah. As a sorta veteran of WoW, this isn't news, nor all that weird. Okay, it's a little weird. What's weird is that the teens who were planning a Columbine style attack got the money for their weapons by selling WoW gold.

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

I've heard nothing but weird things about Second Life. Should be called Waste of Life.

Ric Hoogestraat is married to Sue and works at a call center in the Phoenix area but spends 30-plus hours a week inside the online Second Life video game, pretending that he is the digitally drawn Dutch Hoorenbeek, a 6-foot-9, muscular babe magnet who lives on his own island. That unnerves Sue, according to an August Wall Street Journal profile, especially since Dutch recently "married" a digital woman and set up housekeeping with their two digital dogs. (The real-life creator of the new Mrs. Hoorenbeek has never met Ric and says she never will.) Dutch and his wife spend hours shopping and motorcycling together, leaving Ric little time for Sue. "Is this man cheating on his wife (meaning Sue)?" the Journal asked. Lamented Sue: "You try to talk to (Ric) or bring (him) a drink, and (he)'ll be having sex with a cartoon." [Wall Street Journal, 8-10-07]

Slip and Die

Travis Pastrana is the lunatic who did the double backflip on his motorcycle at the X Games. Here he has someone else to take the risks. He has a buddy test out their insane slip and slide. Not your normal slip and slide, of course. This one starts off with an X Games ramp and ends in a waterfilled pit dug into the hillside.