Black Hole News

Donald Turk, 48, and two associates were charged in Lake Elsinore, Calif., in September with kidnapping Turk's girlfriend, whom Turk was trying to push out of his life because she annoyed him. His plan, allegedly, was to take her to Mexico, drop her off, and hope that she would not return home. However, she was back several hours later, demanding that Turk pay off the cab driver who had driven her from the border. Arrested with Turk was a 47-year-old pal nicknamed "No Nose" because he has a hole in the middle of his face as the result of a gunshot. Said police Det. Joe Greco, "(This case) is like something out of a Quentin Tarantino movie." [Press-Enterprise (Riverside, Calif.), 9-18-07]

Petty Crime: Police in Mesa, Ariz., reported that a man in a black Chrysler sedan pulled up to a Burger King worker on the street late one evening in September and, at gunpoint, took the uniform he was wearing. [East Valley Tribune, 9-25-07]

In Hyannis, Mass., in September, an 18-year-old high school student was charged with possession of marijuana, which police said he was smoking out of an apple. [Cape Cod Times, 9-25-07]

Thanks to News of the Weird

Kids Throw Tantrum. Judge Caves.

Apparently two boys, whose parents had divorced, convinced a family court judge that they hate living in France, where their mother had taken them after she won custody. Three judges actually, have determined that the boys, who "asserted their 'Britishness', dislike their new home so much, that they don't have to live there.

Wow.

Stamp your feet and whine enough and apparently that's all that's required to convince a judge in England. I'm amazed and appalled. For whatever reason, the mother won custody of the children and she has the right to relocate them wherever she decides is best. Now all that needs to happen is for the other parent to convince the kids that they can throw a tantrum and get what they want, as the mother says the father has done. A couple of reasons the boys gave were - they can walk to school and do less homework in England...

The full story from Yahoo News

Uh, hellooo? Hot?

I know it's a bit insensitive to bust the chops of the two people who recently passed away while competing in two running events, but it really hard not to.

The first individual 35 Chad Shreiber, died while running the Chicago Marathon in what news organizations called "unusually hot and humid" conditions. Puhlease... 90 degrees isn't all that hot. I know I live in the desert where it regularly reaches 110, but c'mon, even in Chicago, 90 isn't that hot.

As of the writing of this blog entry, it has been determined that the dude had Mitral Valve Prolapse. A heart condition which should have prevented him from running if he knew about it.

This doesn't change the fact that at least two other people collapsed and one is still in critical condition. C'mon people. Water? Even if it's not all that hot, water? Hydration? Seriously.

Then find out that another man died in some Army 10 mile run, again in what news organizations described as 70 degrees and unusually humid. 70?! How can a temperature of 70 even be included as if it was a factor?!

"My God, It's Full of Tards"

An Ethiopian man was arrested for making a joke about Al Qaida and bombs in the airport in Boston. The article doesn't say, but I'm assuming it's O'Hare.

What's amazing here is not the stupidity of this mental midget, it's the stupidity of the people commenting on the article. Without fail, each comment criticized the airport for over-reacting and violating this man's First Amendment rights.

C'mon people. Grow a couple neurons.

Most of the comments here are a scary reflection of the same stupidity that led this moron to joke about bombs at the airport.

First of all, the man's got no First Amendment rights. He's not even an American Citizen. He's an Ethiopian national.

You're telling me that you didn't know you couldn't joke about bombs at the airport? Your telling me that you think the First Amendment covers anything and everything your retarded ass wants to say? Before you show how stupid you are, I suggest you know what you're talking about first. This is the same retarded blindness that allowed a member of Al Qaida to say that he "didn't need to learn how to takeoff or land a plane", only how to fly it - and have that ignored by our vaunted FBI.

This is the same stupid argument I hear all the time. The First Amendment is not a cover-all umbrella for anything you want to say. You can't yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater. Such behavior can cause a panic and result in bodily injury. You can't say something anything you want about someone if it's not true. It's called "Slander". You can't write anything you like, it's called "Libel". All are punishable by law.

To quote Rage Against the Machine:

"WAKE UP!!!"

The full story from UPI

Talk About "Rich Desserts"

A resort in Sri Lanka is offering a dessert that costs $14,500. It consists of a little chocolate sculpture depicting a stilt fisherman, a local tradition involving surf fishing from a stilt, some sugary fruit stuff, something called Champagne Sabayon Enlighten, and, oh yeah, an 80 carat aquamarine stone.

This is either a clever way to sell a gimmicky, over-priced dessert to people with no brains but a lot of money, or a clever way of selling an aquamarine stone by pairing it with haute cuisine.

Either way, it's pretty sad considering the dish costs more than most Sri Lankans make in a year.

The full story from Yahoo

Black Hole News

Because People Suck...


A barmaid in Melbourne, Australia, known for being a "prankster", served a customer a shot of floor cleaner, causing the man to become violently ill. She essentially gave him a shot of the Aussie equivalent of Pine-Sol.

Prankster?! How about retarded psychopath?

I thought it was basic knowledge that floor cleaners were poisonous. Or don't they have warning labels in Australia? I'm assuming, or should I say, praying, that this mental midget has no kids.

The full story from Yahoo

Go OJ Go!!

Gotta love OJ. He's a constant source of amusement. And mayhem.

According to a memorabilia collector, Alfred Beardsley, OJ and five other "thugs" burst into his hotel room and demanded that they hand over the sports memorabilia they had. This was all allegedly done at gunpoint, though it's been reported that OJ himself didn't handle a firearm.

The sports memorabilia in question ranged from football game balls signed by Simpson, Joe Montana lithographs, baseballs autographed by Pete Rose and Duke Snider and framed awards and plaques. Beardsley also had the suit OJ wore when he was convicted in the civil case. Some of the memorabilia has been ordered turned over to the Goldman family as part of the civil case payment.

The irony, in a case filled with irony, is that some of this memorabilia, which OJ claims is his and that he was operating a "sting" to get back, had previously been sold by OJ himself. So he's sold something, claims it's still his and commits armed robbery to get it back. The guy's clearly nuts.

More on the story:

6th Simpson co-defendant surrenders
Amid Vegas frenzy, Simpson freed on bail

Protect and Serve

Autistic Teen Tasered in California

A 15 year old who left a social services center and was apparently running in and out of traffic was tasered by police. According to the police, they tasered him for his own protection.

"If that were your son, would you want him Tased or hit by a car?"

"Gee, are those my only two options? Then yes, tasering was perfectly acceptable. Thank you mr police officer man. I don't know what you guys did before these marvelous devices were invented. Oh yeah, billy clubs. Yes, you would have been perfectly right to have clubbed my son unconscious had he been running loose in traffic. A coma is much better than dead under the wheels of a semi."

Never mind that the boy was special needs. If you're close enough to taser someone, you're close enough to grab him and cuff him. Lazy sons of b*****s.

The full story form Yahoo

The Best and the Brightest

Continuing our coverage, a man was arrested for hitting his wife in the back of the head with an onion...which was the style at the time...



Yes, he was arrested. Which means, not only did he actually throw an onion at his wife, his wife called the cops over it... and she pressed charges and had him arrested. And the cops actually arrested him.

Taxpayer money well spent I say! Assault with a deadly vegetable! Forget about that suspicious family that's had 400 police calls to their trailer in the last 3 years and who are holding a woman hostage for the purposes of rape and torture! HE HIT HER WITH AN ONION!!!

The full story from Yahoo and AP

Oh by the way, thanks for taking the time to report this AP. Never mind the important stuff like the time my ex wife hit me with a potato!

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

An MIT student was arrested at Logan, yes LOGAN INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, for wearing a fake bomb. She claimed it was art.

C'mon... I mean really... You mean to tell me that you've never heard that you shouldn't say the word "bomb" at the airport?! Oh, you have? ANd you thought that it would be ok to actually WEAR a bomb, fake or not, to the airport... That it would be cute and junk. Huh? Oh, you're proud of your art and you wanted to display it... Your lucky your brains weren't "displayed" all over the terminal wall!

Seriously, this is an MIT student! They're supposed to be the best and the brightest! So there are two conclusions to draw: Either she was looking for the publicity, which she obviously got, or she is the prime example of how stupid this country has become.

Our resident retard/genius:



The full story at Yahoo via AP

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

Sure, I get crappy food at McD's and I can maybe complain and get my food replaced, or spit on, but if I'm a cop, I can arrest the minimum wage goober for it?!

Oversalted burger leads to charges

UNION CITY, Ga. - A McDonald's employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer's burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

The full Story


Airline tells woman her outfit won't fly

SAN DIEGO - A 23-year-old woman who boarded a Southwest Airlines plane in a short skirt for a flight to Arizona says she was led off the plane for wearing an outfit that was considered too skimpy.

Kyla Ebbert said a Southwest employee asked her to leave her seat while the plane was preparing to leave San Diego's Lindbergh Field on July 3.

Ebbert, a student who was headed to Tucson for a doctor's appointment, said Friday on NBC's "Today" show that the employee told her she would have to catch a later flight.

"You're dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You're too provocative to fly on this plane," she quoted the employee as saying.

The full story

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

World of Warcraft, too, is an online game as popular as Second Life, with warrior-players amassing digital gold coins from every opponent they vanquish, and the greater the lucre, the higher they advance in the WOW ranks. Some players take the easy route, though, and buy their WOW gold coins from dealers, who mostly get them from "Chinese gold farmers" in Nanjing and other cities men and women hired to play the game 80 hours a week, not for advancement but to score coins that they can sell to other players, at the equivalent of about $1.25 per 100 coins (marked up to $20 per 100, retail), according to a June New York Times Magazine article. [New York Times Magazine, 6-17-07]


Yeeaah. As a sorta veteran of WoW, this isn't news, nor all that weird. Okay, it's a little weird. What's weird is that the teens who were planning a Columbine style attack got the money for their weapons by selling WoW gold.

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

I've heard nothing but weird things about Second Life. Should be called Waste of Life.

Ric Hoogestraat is married to Sue and works at a call center in the Phoenix area but spends 30-plus hours a week inside the online Second Life video game, pretending that he is the digitally drawn Dutch Hoorenbeek, a 6-foot-9, muscular babe magnet who lives on his own island. That unnerves Sue, according to an August Wall Street Journal profile, especially since Dutch recently "married" a digital woman and set up housekeeping with their two digital dogs. (The real-life creator of the new Mrs. Hoorenbeek has never met Ric and says she never will.) Dutch and his wife spend hours shopping and motorcycling together, leaving Ric little time for Sue. "Is this man cheating on his wife (meaning Sue)?" the Journal asked. Lamented Sue: "You try to talk to (Ric) or bring (him) a drink, and (he)'ll be having sex with a cartoon." [Wall Street Journal, 8-10-07]

Man Sues McDonalds For Not Holding the Cheese

A South Carolina man is suing McDonalds because he ordered his Quarter Pounder without cheese and it had cheese on it. The man is allergic to cheese and almost died after he bit into the burger.

The man's lawyer noted that Mr Jackson, "told a worker through the ordering speaker and then two workers face-to-face at the pay and pick-up windows that he couldn't eat cheese, Houston said."

"By my count, he took at least five independent steps to make sure that thing had no cheese on it," Houston said. "And it did and almost cost him his life."

How about some personal responsibility? YOU'RE DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO CHEESE!! How about YOU look at YOUR food before YOU shove it in YOUR pie-hole? How is it McDonalds' fault that you can't seem to manage YOU'RE own affliction?

Somehow I'm sure he'll get some cash out of it and we'll all suffer for it.

The Full Story from the Charleston Daily Mail"

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

Muslims Find School Kosher

About half the students who attend the Jewish primary school King David, in Birmingham, England, are Muslims, and in fact, their parents work hard to get them in because they so respect the school's ethos and its halal-like diet. All students learn Hebrew, recite Jewish prayers, and celebrate Israeli independence, but there is a Muslim prayer room, also, and Muslim teachers are hired for Ramadan. However, confided one parent, the school tries to keep a low profile so as not to inflame the religious rabble-rousers. [The Independent, 2-4-07]


Compelling Explanations

Robert "Drew" Stephenson, on trial in Fort Worth, Texas, in January for "torturing" an ex-girlfriend, acknowledged her severe burns but said it wasn't his fault. He said the two were having sex in a house that had no heat, and to warm himself, he ran the flames of a lantern up and down his arm. According to him, his girlfriend said she wanted to be warmed up with flames, too. (He was convicted, and in February, after four other women testified that he had beaten them, was sentenced to life in prison.) [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 1-31-07, 2-2-07]


The Laws of Irony

In February, two anti-whaling activists (one from Australia, one from Los Angeles), intending to attack a Japanese whaling ship near Antarctica with a bottle of acid and a smoke bomb, got lost in the fog in their small dinghy and were rescued with the help of several boats, including the whaler. However, as soon as the activists were safe, one thanked the Japanese crew but said, "I guess we're back on schedule, and we'll be pursuing you again." Shortly after that, the activists approached the whaler and tossed the acid onto the deck, injuring two crew members. [Philadelphia Inquirer-AP, 2-11-07]

It is well-known that Saudi Arabia still prohibits women from driving cars (or riding in them unless accompanied by a male relative), but a December Associated Press dispatch from Riyadh reported on female automobile salespeople (who are successful in selling to females, who can own cars as long as someone else drives). Also, in January, a holding company owned by Saudi Prince Alwaleed ibn Talal hired a female pilot for one of its jets. The woman, Capt. Hanadi Zakariya Hindi, flies with no restrictions but still requires a male relative to get her to and from the airport. [ABC News-AP, 12-3-06] [The Hindu-Press Trust of India, 1-12-07]

Source: News of the Weird

Black Hole News

Because People Suck

NORTH LOGAN, Utah - A University of Southern California hockey goalie put on a show, but it had nothing to do with stopping shots. Mickey Meyer rode his stick like a horse, dropped his bulky pants, mooned the crowd and slapped his buttocks during a game against Brigham Young University, police said.

Full Story

Black Hole Hews

Because People Suck

Unbridled Avarice

In findings that could surely be matched in the United States, the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives reported in January that the country's 100 highest-paid business executives had, by 9:46 a.m. on Jan. 2, earned an amount equal to what the average Canadian would earn in all of 2007. And The New York Times reported in December that Wall Street bonuses for 2006 were so large that one real estate broker complained at New York City's shortage of $20 million properties and a Greenwich, Conn., Ferrari dealer complained that Ferrari hadn't manufactured enough 599 GTB Fioranos (price: about $250,000) to fill his customers' orders. [Standard-Freeholder (Cornwall, Ontario), 1-2-07] [New York Times, 12-25-06]

Science Gone Mad

Alarming Science: (1) A researcher at the Minnesota Cancer Center reported in January finding amounts of the carcinogen NNK, most likely from tobacco smoke, in toenail clippings of smokers (and nonsmokers exposed to second-hand smoke). (2) A researcher writing in the January/February issue of Australasian Science magazine reported that the Toxoplasma gondii parasite, carried by many cats, not only can harm pregnant women (as was previously known) but also can lower the IQ of men and make women more promiscuous. [United Press International, 1-2-07] [Australian Associated Press, 12-26-06]

Science Gone Bad

Science Gone Too Far: A December New York Times dispatch reports that among the hottest social status symbols in Tokyo is the cute-but-bizarre dog created by inbreeding, such as a blue Chihuahua or a white dachshund. However, inbreeding also produces a high number of deformities, and to get that dachshund, for example, the litter of five contained four dogs with almost unspeakably gross birth defects. Nonetheless, because of demand, dog inbreeding continues. And a Nottingham University professor warned in January that farmers are now at work in the United Kingdom breeding "stress" and "hostility" out of pigs and cows to make them more obedient en route to the slaughterhouse. The professor said the goal of such breeders is to create animal "vegetables." [New York Times, 12-28-06] [Daily Mail (London), 1-10-07]

News of the Weird