Actual SAT Test Answers in Arkansas

The following questions and answers were actually
collected from SAT tests given in Springdale, Arkansas in
2000 to 16-year-old students! (Don't laugh too
hard----one of these kids may be the President someday.)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be
made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and
canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male
gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward
to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three
parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal
cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a
characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so
they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.